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August 29, 2007

Theologians: They don't know nothing about my soul.

I just went to the beach. It was great. My experience was complete with flocks of seagulls trying to raid my chips (french fries [freedom fries]), teenagers boys ogling teenage girls, sand in my coke, and the ocean. It was fun and I wouldn't have it any other way, but I also decided today that I am quite sad that everyone's going back to UVM this week and I'm not. I LOVE UVM. I LOVE the Honors College (I can't lie). My life is incomplete without being actively involved in my community of stuck up, nerdy, college kids. Oh how I miss it. I saw the email saying that Critical Looking would be canceled if no one else signed up, and I cried a little bit. I think my lymph nodes are swollen. Do you think I am going to die? I do. If you don't, you are just lying to yourself. I went to Sydney this weekend. Here are a couple pictures, and a video of me at my finest.

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I hate clowns. Hate them. Hate them. Hate them. Hate them. Hate them. Hate them.
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The end.
Jah-Love,
Alena

p.s. I do not think it is okay to use fisher women as bait to catch sea creatures. I hope you don't plan on doing that here.

August 19, 2007

Jesus the Mexican Boy Gave Me a Ride on the Back of His Bike

As I have recently been contacted by aliens and given the task of communicating on behalf of our planet, I have decided to post a few of my favorite songs for their appreciation and yours. Oh, and our gravity feels like your soul would feel if it were weighted down by sin.

Cloud Cult, "Chemicals Collide"

One of my favorite Bjork songs complete with one of my favorite Bjork outfits. "Who is It?"

Last but not least, "Head Over Heels," by Tears for Fears

August 18, 2007

Peeling away the layers of my artichoke heart

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This is bar beach in Newcastle, Australia

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This is a fishing boat at GBR (Great Barrier Reef, for those of you not privy to my thought process). I fancy myself an artist.

August 16, 2007

Look Beneath the Floor Boards For the Secrets I Have Hid

1. This poem, if I remember correctly, was a collaboration with my good friend Kathleen.

My writing makes bread rise.
My writing is the hum of the radiator
My writing makes birds fly
My writing is as silent as the grave

Vocabulary is like a lost child
Who wanders the grocery store
Frantically calling for his mother
Bruising the tomato he was sent for

My writing calls me on the phone
Late at night and tells me stories
My writing revives dinosaurs
Like Kathleen’s oatmeal

2. Parachute Man, or, He does not know that he will be set on fire

I once met a parachute man,
Orange and brave was he.
"I am willing," he said,
"To give my life for this country."
I protested, begged, and pleaded.
Please get down, and we'll have tea!
But still he dangles from his plastic chute,
Always above, forever without me.


3. My grandfather's favorite poem, by Edgar Allen Poe

Eldorado

Gaily bedight,
A gallant knight,
In sunshine and in shadow,
Had journeyed long,
Singing a song,
In search of Eldorado.

But he grew old
This knight so bold
And o'er his heart a shadow
Fell as he found
No spot of ground
That looked like Eldorado.

And, as his strength
Failed him at length,
He met a pilgrim shadow
"Shadow," said he,
"Where can it be
This land of Eldorado?"

"Over the Mountains
Of the Moon,
Down the Valley of the Shadow,
Ride, boldly ride,"
The shade replied
"If you seek for Eldorado!"

4. One of my favorite poems, by Walt Whitman

Earth, my likeness,
Though you look so impassive, ample and spheric there,
I now suspect that is not all;
I now suspect there is something fierce in you eligible to burst forth,
For an athlete is enamour'd of me, and I of him,
But toward him there is something fierce and terrible in me eligible
to burst forth,
I dare not tell it in words, not even in these songs.

5. Ode to Professor Mann

William's omniscience
Is passed on to his pupils
We will drink at five.

6.My October Regrets in Decasyllables

I think it was the coldest day that fall
Though I remember nothing of it all,
Except for the sick smell of the exhaust,
The look in your eyes as if you were lost,
The cold hard ground under our anxious feet,
And the finality of your retreat.
I should have told you, told you that I cared.
You didn’t try, you would never have dared.

That hideous moment is too far gone.
I have since forgiven you, and moved on,
But I won’t forgive my own cowardice,
I won’t stop longing for that one last kiss.

August 15, 2007

Extra-Terrestrial Origins

I am sticking to the topics I listed. This one falls under "Outer Space/Robots," and also "Cats/Science." It would also be reasonable to think that the honors college has something to do with this.

Some of you, including the person who brought this to my attention (*cough*stephanie*), may not be surprised by this information. The rest of you, brace yourself.

Fungus: Not a plant. Not an animal. Not of this Earth? Yes, my friends, it is time to reconsider our ideas about extraterrestrial life. We have the evidence right here, outside in the woods, on our old bread, in our salads. Fungus is from outer space and arrived here on a comet.

1. The first thing to consider is that no one can figure out where fungi came from (because they haven't been looking for comets). In a mycology paper called "The Evolution of Fungi," we learn that the theory that it evolved from plants is not well-supported, and nor is the theory that it is evolved independently from plants and animals. It is proposed that it evolved from animals, but I personally do not support this opinion as it is obv. redonk.. see the paper here if you like: http://www.nyu.edu/projects/fitch/resources/student_papers/bianca.pdf

2. watch this video.

3. Fungus COULD have come here on a comet, it is scientifically feasible. Scientists have discovered bacteria and fungi lying dormant, but alive, deep in the ice over Antarctica. The organisms are at least 300,000 years old. "So microorganisms are able to survive in ice for hundreds thousand of years. This discovery is very interesting for extraterrestrial life issue research. According to a hypothesis of Swedish chemist Svante Arrhenius, suggested as early as in the beginning of XXth century, the living matter is immortal and travels from planet to planet in the form of fetuses. Modern science denies this hypothesis, but it looks quite reasonable in view of new data. How do the fetuses travel? They can use ice for this purpose. It can protect living cells from tough cosmic rays and dryness. And low temperatures help cells to be dormant during their long space journey for hundreds thousands of years."

Full article: http://www.russia-ic.com/education_science/science/breakthrough/43/

4. Lots of people have been thinking this for a very long time, including Greeks. The ancient Greeks were right about everything. Just google "panspermia" and you will see the plethera of information available on this topic.

5. IN THE NEWS: 29 July 1997: a NASA scientist announced evidence of fossilized microscopic life forms in a meteorite not from any known planet

6. In India, a comet went by in 2001, and certain areas experienced "red rain" which was found to contain red particles resembling unicellular life but without recognizable DNA, and it was unlikely to be dust or other inorganic material. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4156/is_20050115/ai_n16005287

YOU DECIDE. Fungus: The friendliest of our six kingdoms of life, or evil alien decomposer? Please, leave your comments.

August 12, 2007

I'm flattered you're reading this

Okay I am starting a blog. This is not because I live under the false assumption that people care about the intimate details of my life (a popular fallacy). It is because writing is a great outlet, and most importantly because I am addicted to the internet (I highly recommend the novel “Hooked” by Matt Richtel for a more thorough understanding of this problem). I'm also liking the legitimacy of a UVM blog. Makes me feel like a scholar. Beats my previous location.

I am studying for a semester in Australia, it’s pretty cool. I have no idea why I decided to come here. I felt a strong urge to get very far away from everything familiar, but of course now I miss it. But I'm glad I came here because the ducks sound like chickens, the pigeons have mohawks, and the possums look like cat-monkey hybrids. It's awesome. The plants are vaguely prehistoric; I keep expecting a raptor to emerge from the forest. This has not happened yet, but I did see a pterodactyl the other night. A baby one. I have not had any problems with poisonous animals yet either, unless you count waking up in the middle of the night thinking there are spiders all over you, but there actually aren’t. Also, there are cockroaches in my room, and spiders which may or may not be poisonous that try to attack me while I read classic novels. So far my favourite things to hear Australian people say are: “so good,” “no worries mate,” and “I reckon.”

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And I am aware of how ridiculous I look in this picture. It's okay. No worries.

My classes are shit. One class sounded promising, called “Social Development and the Environment,” but the other people in the class have so little previous knowledge of environmental issues that the discussions are frustratingly over-simplified, and people often miss the point. My other classes are microeconomics and macroeconomics. I don’t feel I need to explain my feelings toward these subjects other than PLEASE STAB ME IN THE EYE

But seriously. I am very passionate about my opinions regarding the environment, but I also think I'm pretty open-minded because I change my mind a lot and I like to learn new things that I've never heard about. But the people in my environmental class are so idealistic and closed-minded, I leave it every Monday at 6 p.m. feeling like it's all hopeless. Some of the people think that eco-tourism is BAD and only pure preservation is acceptable. WTF? Like that would ever work, especially in Australia. Be practical people. They also seem to think that the aboriginals are semi-divine natural beings. When we read that they may have brought about the extinction of giant kangaroos (yes), everyone was like, "no, no, they couldn't have. Aboriginals only took what they needed." Well, it's fine to regard them as being closer to nature than we are, but they shouldn't disregard scientific research because it doesn't fit in with their preconceived views. That's my rant for the day. Hope you learned something.